The Top Ten Stupid Criminals of 2007
A policeman’s job is never easy, but dumb criminals make it somewhat easier. This list was whittled down from a much longer list of stories of the stupid things lawbreakers did this past year. These are in chronological order instead of rank. The dates are from the news stories; in some cases the crime itself happened earlier. Most of the links have accompanying video.
1. Lottery Thief Sets Himself on Fire
ROME, GA June 2
A convenience-store thief got away, but the video from the security camera told a strange, strange tale. A man broke into the store overnight, and tried to cover his tracks by burning the place down. He threw charcoal lighter fluid around, but by the time he ignited it, the fumes had permeated the store, and he set himself on fire. While in flames, he grabbed a roll of lottery tickets and fled. At the time of the story, police were looking for a man with facial, neck, and possibly wrist burns.
2. Ten Hours Stuck in Restaurant Vent
HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, FL June 8
An employee of the Lucky Buffet noticed a strange sight on arriving at the restaurant. There were legs hanging out of a vent over the grill! 45-year-old Billy Jordan had tried to enter the restaurant the night before by climbing through the ductwork, but became stuck and stayed there for ten hours. Hillsborough County Fire Rescue workers used a rope to pull Jordan back out through the roof, after which he was arrested for burglary.
3. Immovable ATM
MILWAUKEE, WI July 27
Three men backed a stolen vehicle through the glass front of a gas station. Their intent was to steal an ATM. But they didn’t realize that ATMs are bolted to the floor. After some thought, they tied a rope around the machine and attched it to the vehicle, but still could not dislodge it. They left empty-handed. The ATM was still in working order the next day.
4. The Famous Duct Tape Bandit
ASHLAND, KY August 13
Police say Kasey Kazee entered Shamrock Liquors and attempted to rob the store. Employees were astonished that he had disguised his face by wrapping it in duct tape! The store manager chased him out with a baseball bat and an employee held him in the parking lot until police arrived. Police removed the duct tape after taking pictures, and arrested Kazee, who denied any memory of the incident.
5. The Sign of the Crime
ADLINGTON, ENGLAND September 6
Peter Addison and his friend Mark Ridgeway vandalized the Toc H centre, a children’s campsite building. They smashed crockery, set off fire extinguishers, and drew grafitti on the walls. Part of the grafitti said “Peter Addison was here.” Police found Addison through a computer database. Both teenagers pled guilty and were ordered to pay for the damage.
Inspector Gareth Woods, of Cheshire Police, said: “This crime is up there with the dumbest of all in the criminal league table.
“There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit.”
6. He Didn’t See the Cop
LITTLE ROCK, AR September 7
21-year-old Langston Robins walked right past a uniformed police officer at the Metropolitan Bank and handed a robbery note to the teller. The unarmed would-be robber was arrested after a foot pursuit. Little Rock police spokesman Lt. Terry Hastings said:
“I just don’t know why he didn’t see a uniformed police officer standing basically right in front of him,” Hastings tells the Associated Press. “My guess is he’s just not the brightest of people.”
7. He Stole a Car to Turn Himself In
GENEVA, NY September 13
29-year-old Vincent Estrada Junior was pulled over because the car he was driving had been stolen from a parking lot. Estrada explained that he had stolen the car in order to drive to the Geneva City Police Department and turn himself in on a family court warrant! He didn’t make his destination, as police took him to the Ontario County Jail instead, where he was held on car theft charges.
(image credit: Ontario County Sheriff’s Office)
8. Burglar Falls Asleep Under Victim’s Bed
WHITLEY BAY, England September 17
Usually, the burglar robs the house while the victim is asleep, but in this story, the roles were reversed. 24-year-old Mark Smith sneaked into Heather Stephenson’s home, crept past her while she was ironing, and rifled through her belongings in the bedroom. Then he fell asleep under her bed. Mrs. Stephenson couldn’t wake him, and police officers had to drag him out from under the bed. Smith’s vodka and valium consumption were to blame. He received an 18-month sentence for burglary.
9. Cash My Million-Dollar Bill!
PITTSBURGH, PA November 9
A man flew into a rage at the Giant Eagle supermarket when employees refused to cash a million-dollar bill. 66-year-old Samuel Porter slammed an electronic machine on the counter and refused to give his name to authorities. He was then taken to the Allegheny County Jail. The largest bill currently in circulation is the $100 dollar bill.
Bonus: It happened again soon afterwards in Georgia!
(image credit: AP)
10. Carjacking at a Crime Scene
RALEIGH, NC December 11
There had been a stabbing, and police were on the scene talking to a woman who had been a witness to the crime. 38-year-old Anthony William jumped into the woman’s car and drove away! He was arrested the next day, easily identified by the cops who saw him steal the car.
Source: Neatorama
Bengal Nurses Piglets Dressed In Tiger-Striped Coats
BANGKOK, Thailand — What do you get when you mingle piglets with a tiger or tiger cubs with a pig? Motherly love.
At least that’s what a zoo in Thailand found out after placing several piglets with a 6-year-old bengal tigress.
The bengal feeds the piglets, which were dressed by zoo workers in tiger-pattern coats, and across the cage tiger cubs are fed by a sow.
Zoo officials said the animals have been interchanged with parents for the past few years.
Officials said the reason for the experiment is to amuse visitors.
Giant rat species found in Papua forest
A giant rat and a pygmy possum, both believed to be new to science, have been found in an ecological ‘lost world’ hidden in the pristine cloud forests of New Guinea.
Dr Ucok holds this 1.4 kg giant rat that is probably a new species.
The huge rat - about five times as large as a sewer rat - had no fear of people and regularly wandered into a camp set up by scientists in the remote region of Papua, the Indonesian half of the island of New Guinea.
In contrast, the Cercartetus possum was shy and ranks as one of the world’s smallest marsupials.
Both creatures were found by scientists from the US-based group Conservation International and the Indonesian Institute of Science, which led an expedition to the Foja mountains of eastern Papua in June.
It is extremely rare to discover new species of mammal, particularly one as large as the Mallomys rat.
“The giant rat is about five times the size of a typical city rat,” said Kristofer Helgen, a scientist with the Smithsonian Institution in Washington.
“With no fear of humans, it apparently came into the camp several times during the trip.”
A 2005 expedition to the same stretch of jungle - dubbed by Conservation International as a “Lost World” because of its remoteness and biological richness - found dozens of exotic new species of plants and insects.
On this most recent trip, the scientists also recorded the mating displays of several little-known birds for the first time, including the golden-fronted bowerbird and the black sicklebill bird of paradise.
They also observed a “lost” bird of paradise, Berlepsch’s six-wired bird of paradise, last seen by outsiders in the 19th century.
The expedition was accompanied by a National Geographic photographer and a camera crew from the American network CBS.
“It’s comforting to know that there is a place on earth so isolated that it remains the absolute realm of wild nature,” said Conservation International’s vice-president, Bruce Beehler, who led the expedition.
“We were pleased to see that this little piece of Eden remains as pristine and enchanting as it was when we first visited.”
The Foja Wilderness is part of the great Mamberamo Basin, the largest untouched tropical forest in the Asia Pacific region.
The province of Papua - not to be confused with neighbouring Papua New Guinea - boasts more than 100 million acres of tropical forest and some of the richest bio-diversity in the world.
The Indonesian government has declared the region a National Wildlife Sanctuary, but surrounding areas are under threat from clearing for palm oil plantations as well as rampant illegal logging.
The scientists plan another expedition to the area in late 2008 or 2009, when they expect to discover more species of mammals, frogs and butterflies.
Would-be surrogate mother, husband accused of bilking clients; Web sites detail numerous scams
As first reported by The Index-Journal, a Hodges couple have been arrested after authorities say they bilked thousands of dollars from a Pennsylvania family in a ruse in which she reportedly agreed to be a surrogate mother for the couple.
Greenwood County Sheriff’s Office arrested Jessica O’Donnell, 28, of 1006 Sally White Road, Hodges and charged her with obtaining money under false pretenses.
Deputies also arrested her husband, Daniel O’Donnell, and charged him with obtaining money under false pretenses.
GCSO investigators say more charges are pending, as there is evidence the O’Donnells allegedly conned numerous other victims.
The Dancing Cop
Officer Started Dancing In Traffic In 1984. He’s no Fred Astaire, but you’d be hard-pressed to find a police officer with moves like Rhode Island’s “Dancing Cop.”
The $10,000 Pole Dancing Dare
THE DARE THAT WON $10,000: We’d like to see some pole dancing but don’t have the time to get to the local strip hut. What’s that? Neither do you, ladies? In that case how about giving us a little pole dance show at any place you can find a pole. A stop sign, a tow away zone or even the firehouse will do. Just find the right piece of metal and make a dance partner out of it. The good news is you don’t have to even get naked for this one, but like our grandpa once said; “The more skin, the better”. Sorry for this one, mom!
The Long Eared Mouse
Meet the Long-Eared Jerboa - captured on film for the first time ever. Thanks to the BBC we can all enjoy this improbable looking animal.
The long-eared jerboa, a tiny nocturnal mammal that is dwarfed by its enormous ears, can be found in deserts in Mongolia and China.
Zoological Society of London (ZSL) scientist Jonathan Baillie said the footage was helping researchers to learn more about the mysterious animal.
The species is classified as endangered on the IUCN Red list.
The unusual animals were filmed in the Gobi desert during an expedition led by Dr Baillie.
Until now, the creatures had proven extremely difficult to study, thanks to their minuscule size, nocturnal nature and the harsh desert environment that they inhabit.
Dr Baillie told BBC News that he was “ecstatic” to have tracked down the jerboas.
“These creatures hop just like a kangaroo; it is amazing to watch. Little hairs on their feet, almost like snow shoes, allow them to jump along the sand,” he explained.
“And in terms of mammals, they have one of the biggest ear-to-body ratios out there.”
The footage revealed that the creatures spend daylight hours burrowed down in underground tunnels beneath the sand, and that their diet was mostly made up of insects.
“The long-eared jerboa is a bit like the Mickey Mouse of the desert, cute and comic in equal measure,” Dr Baillie said.
By setting pitfall traps, the researchers were also able to look at the rodents close-up and to begin to estimate their population.
He added that although there was still much to learn about the rare rodent it was already believed to be under threat from habitat disturbance.
“We travelled to the Gobi to find out about the animal’s status and learn more about it so we can develop a thorough long-term action plan.”
Desert bounties
The expedition formed part of ZSL’s Edge programme, which focuses its efforts on conservation plans for animals that are both endangered and evolutionary distinctive.
The long-eared jerboa is one of 10 species that the programme is looking at this year.
“These amazing, remarkable creatures are on the verge of extinction and we know almost nothing about them,” warned Dr Baillie.
He added that it was important not to overlook desert habitats in conservation.
“Everyone thinks the desert is a totally desolate area, void of biodiversity, and often when conservation planning is done, deserts are overlooked.
“But there are some remarkable species in the desert, so we really need to start paying attention to this environment.”
An Edge scientist has now been appointed to further study the species.
Don’t Date Him Girl!
A Pittsburgh attorney has revived his lawsuit against a date-dissing website where postings, he says, falsely claimed he was unfaithful and had sexually transmitted diseases.
Todd Hollis sued DontDateHimGirl.com and its creator in Miami federal court. A Pennsylvania judge tossed Hollis’ lawsuit in April over a jurisdiction question.
The lawsuit claims Tasha Cunningham of Pinecrest conspired with the site’s female users to defame Hollis and other men. Hollis wants more than $75,000 in damages.
Cunningham says her Web site’s mission is “to empower women with the information and connections that help them make better life decisions.” She refused to answer questions about the
lawsuit.
Stupidest Toys for Christmas 2007: #1 Roadkill Toys
#1 Roadkill Toys
Stupid.com recently released their 2007’s stupidest toys. I have a few on my list that weren’t found on stupid.com. I was doing an article on Google Trends and how to monetize the hottest keyword searches in Google, and I ran across a keyword sitting there at #14 out of 100 … roadkill toys … yep … that’s roadkill toys. You heard it right. It appears that a new UK company has developed a new kind of stuffed animal … a poor fuzzy bear or other creature that has met an unfortunate demise on the road by getting hit by a car. You get the deceased stuffed animal along with it’s guts and blood. I kid you not.
If you do a search for Road Kill toys, you’ll see they are developing a site for their company at roadkilltoys.com. It is still under construction, but they have a splash page up. So if you’re out of Christmas gift ideas at this early stage of the game, you might want to look up this UK company and be one of the first to get a Roadkill Toy.
#2 OMiBod: the iPod Vibrator
This one needs little explanation … going where no iPod accessory dared to go previously, the OMiBod is discreetly quiet, comes with a flaming pink velvet pouch … don’t leave home without it. Ladies you can now not only listen to your favorite tunes, but “feel” your favorite tunes. This one is sure to be a hit this Christmas. Perfect to slip into your ladies stocking on Christmas Eve or to purchase in a Secret Santa Office draw for your female co-workers. Trust me … they’ll love it.
#3 Santa Hates You: Not So Merry T Shirt
Ah yes. A t shirt of Santa Claus making an obscene gesture (flipping the bird) sold by Philadelphia-based Urban Outfitters. You might be out of luck if you had anticipated wearing this gem to the annual Christmas party– it is currently sold out at the chain’s Center City location.
